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June 15, 2013 / jenwithboys

Enough

So exactly when is enough, well, enough?
I find myself in a strange situation. I was always an acceptable weight, even after having three babies. Never “skinny” mind you, but a nice average size–like a 6 or 8.
Then, years after my last child was born it happened. Slowly. Like a tiny plague for one. My size 8’s seemed snug. But the excuses seemed explainable–I don’t buy expensive clothes, so my T-shirts shrink, or I’m just bloated, or I ate too much salt, had a big lunch, have bad posture, big boobs, a large frame. But no, eventually I morphed into a size 10. Still feeling it was completely acceptable, however, because those certain “well made” size 8 garments could still be squeezed in to.
Alas, several years of this and now… Well, now the 10’s are too snug. And by total mistake, (while I was looking at my hair backwards in the mirror) I saw them. Back fat rolls.
At 5’4″ and 165 pounds, I am fat. So, to my title: “Enough”, I wondered this morning–at what point was I going to acknowledge that enough was indeed enough? For example, here’s a list of things I’ve ignored for the last few years:
1. I must choose where I desire the roll of belly fat to dwell. Do I pull my pants up over it for a roll below, or do I keep my pants below the belly button and live with the belly roll resting on top of the waist band, acting as a “shelf” of sorts?
2. I have not succumbed to elasic waist pants–but the desire to get home from work asap to take button pants off and put “yoga” pants on has become increasingly more urgent.
3. Do my hair nd makeup more frequently so that at least my head is presentable in public.
4. Developed a new way of walking in a bathing suit in an attempt to avoid the uncomfortable feeling that occurs when the tops of my inner thighs rub together while slightly damp.
5. Started buying cheaper, bigger bottles of wine. (No more explanation here is needed)
6. Convinced myself that jorts were an acceptable choice of clothing. (Again to relieve the discomfort of the thighs)
7. Bought into the idea that moms need to be “squishy”–you know, for hugs and stuff.
8.Find it acceptable to be at the same weight non-pregnant that you were when pregnant-(ahh, that was so long ago, I’m older now…)

I could go on and on. But really, enough is enough. Something must be done.

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